Job Posting: Anti-Piracy Programmer

Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 8:28 pm

oldarney wrote:

As a programmer, I'd say mission impossible. Nice joke.

wow, member since 2005..... welcome is not the correct word so maybe welcome back?

Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 3:05 am

Dear Sir,
Regarding the outstanding job position. I am happy to inform you i am a highly qualified programmer experienced in c--,lava and lunix. With over 90 years of experience
i am keen to be of great service to the more noble goals of your company. In today's high-tech world there is a need to counter illegal downloads and downloaders. These blinds damage the well-oiled copyright industry and i would be happy to be of great asset to your company. Regarding your list of qualifications i am ambitious and eager enough to put my hard-working character to work and hereby i would like to inform you i am eager to apply for a possible programmer-manager position, since i would like to make use of my qualities and talents in order to advance the creative process of your company. Perhaps i am indeed slightly overqualified however i am fully convinced my persona in question would and will enchance your software-infrastructure in every possible way.
Please do not hesitate to contact me, i await your reply with best wishes and best regards,
Yours truly,
John Cock
sunnycanid at yahoo avoiding url block will get you banned

Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 10:05 pm

Too funny!! Im recently new to Isohunt and love it!! Id work for free!! Smile

"ITS BETTER TO BE HATED FOR WHO U ARE THAN LOVED FOR WHO U ARENT"

Posted: Sun May 22, 2011 7:13 am

Very witty and funny.

It kind of depressed me though that you had to explicitly pronounce it a joke at the end Razz

on two levels; that there were people who read it and were so mentally deficient that they couldn't realize its satire, and that we would be denied the delights of their incomprehension.

Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 1:19 pm

I'm so proud of you guys for being principled and showing courage as well as a sense of humour.

So many people support you!

Also the joke is almost a reasonable argument. How about they apply for the job if they think it is so easy!? They regularly post fakes. They regularly post fake comments even. Both are pretty easy to spot. It's pretty clear that they have the means to disrupt torrents they want to but they can't keep up with the volume.

Really it would be nice if they would just admit that "piracy" is free distribution and helps their bottom line. They actually don't lose ANY sales to piracy. They gain 100% free viewers and all the priceless world of mouth publicity that comes with that. But they'd rather lie about it because they think it will make them even more money.

Their current strategy is two headed. With one head they say piracy is evil, attack sharing by any means including illegal means. They do this in a high publicity low effectiveness way to promote deterrence. Like the impossible War on Drugs. This is to scare the ignorant, busy or just too rich into paying $50 for DVDs now and then.

At the same time they secretly help pirates, release their video screeners in a lower-res, release strategically, especially near the oscars, to reap the rewards of the free distribution and promotion.

Then, people who are technically savvy and have the time will share and do the free publicity for them. Because it is a smaller "elite" group it is seen as cool and so has a certain appeal that wouldn't be there if it was easier. Trendsetting hipsters unwittingly sharing advertising for them all for free. And people with too much money will pay extra to avoid the hassle of figuring out about the fake files and avoid the miniscule but theoretically possible risk of getting "caught" and "punished."

But at a certain point the logic of those two strategies can't be maintained and they have to pick on or the other and the whole thing collapses. They like the status quo.

Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 12:53 pm

hi guys and girls need to know why do you think this is? I

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2011 3:08 am

Isohunt indexes torrents? When did this happen?!

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2011 4:26 pm

midnightsurfer wrote:

Isohunt indexes torrents? When did this happen?!

Hilarious. I am halfway through a 2L goonbag and blew a mouthful through my nose when I read this comment. Don't know why, I'm not usually a fan of dry wit.

Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 7:14 am

www.markmonitor.com seems to have the market cornered for anti-piracy programmers. 'With over 20 million p2p connections monitored... we at MarkMonitor.com can provide forensic data on breaches of copyright ...'

I downloaded and tested for evaluation some program the other day.
Then got www.s0.2mdn.net - a markmonitor address on ipconfig list. I then found that they were attempting to upstream hack my swf player. nice.

It's now part of Google.

Thanks Google. Monitoring everything we do again?

Internet rename suggestion - Big Brother - or does George Orwell (or the bbc) have copyright on that?

Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:49 pm

Anti anti-pirate!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWPfcEOr2Yg

Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:09 am

hey ! NIIICCCEE theme man !!!

Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 8:27 pm

I have been working very hard since this post and have been successful in 4 cases. I would be glad to submit my work but the napkins I used to note the information were sadly destroyed in a coffee spill...I'll keep at it tho...

Posted: Mon Aug 01, 2011 3:52 pm

Lol, have been off torrents for a bit, but that s@#! (i edited after realising you offensive language rules) will still be funny 50 years. Great work IsoHunt team:)

Seems to me the reason you can't "join" the entertainment industry must be some part of them not letting you. Remember this:

IF YOU CANT JOIN THEM, BEAT THEM

I'm in Australia, atm we have lawyers posing as national leaders trying to "sell" a 'carbon tax'. The only possible conclusion I could draw from this was "that lawyers and politicians do not constitute carbon based life".

I wholeheartedly agree with your stance over filtering of search terms. It is an issue that reaches to the fundamental core of our society. There is MUCH more at stake here than legal documents, interweb protocol, and shiny coins.

These fools, fighting you peeps, seek to destroy the very thing that consumates their power. I guess you've already figured these noobs out though eh????

salah

Posted: Mon Aug 01, 2011 4:00 pm

Quote:

"ITS BETTER TO BE HATED FOR WHO U ARE THAN LOVED FOR WHO U ARENT"

Well said

I almost fell for this one, but thanks to my 6th grade math teacher I always read the "full" instructions or in this case Announcement as she tested the whole class to see who would actually read and see that it said at the end to "Please do not do the work on this sheet" Wink

Good'n IH

Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 6:38 pm

Anyone who finds this funny has not read Atlas Shrugged or, if they've read it, have not understood it.

Just because you want something that someone else makes does not give you the moral prerogative to have it. How has this very obvious truth become so warped with the internet age, where stealing media and software has become trivially easy? People like you - YOU, the one reading this and already blowing me off - you degrade the quality of life of everyone else in the world with your constant tiny thieving. You may now go back to fooling yourself that this is not the case. Enjoy the movie!