Where do old socks go?

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 11:17 pm

Okay, put away the petty politics, retire from the religeous rants, take a moment from technology...it's time for a serious debate...about one of the great mysteries of the universe.

Where do old socks go?
(que twilight zone music, or americas most wanted music)

My case:
I bought a dozen pairs of socks when I moved into my apartment a year ago. Now I'm moving and find that I've only got 8 socks left, not 8 pairs but 8 socks. I live alone and I don't leave socks at anyone else's house. I've moved everything out of my old apartment and only find 8 socks. Where did the other 16 go?

My background:
When I was growing up I'd often notice changes in my collection of socks but it wasn't the sort of thing I bothered to care about in my youth (before I became old and boring). I'd just assume they were in the wash, under the bed, mom had thrown them away, or any number of logical scenarios. When I moved out and had roomates the trend continued, but again as a young adult my mind was occupied elsewhere. It seemed likely that broke roommates couldn't afford their own socks and were merely using mine instead. Now that I've lived on my own for a while I'm left with fewer logical explanations.

My theories:

Political Conspiracy:
Think about all the media attention the government likes to receive. It's almost like their trying to distract us from something...maybe something that's happening in our own homes. It seems logical that socks might be a yet untapped ancient fuel source and the higher powers don't want anyone finding out so that we'll keep using fossel fuels. Clever...almost too clever.

Illuminati:
That's nonsense, they don't exist.

Emmerging Artificial Intelligence:
The one constant factor I can think of in all of my experience with this is my computer. I've had a computer ever since I was a kid and I always leave it running, even when I'm not home so there's no way I could watch what it's doing at all times. It's probably the most inteligent thing in my house (much more inteligent than my fish) so it seems logical that it could be capable of consuming some meesly socks. Ever since computers have become common in households the sock disapperances seem to have increased dramatically. I don't think my parents ever talk about losing socks back in the 1800's, it just didn't happen back then. Now that we have computers it happens all the time. Maybe this is some sort of fuel for them and maybe the reason that technology is constantly advancing. Perhaps they're building themselves into a super AI? Maybe socks fuel the internet?

Aliens/Elves:
I think we've all heard the theory that elves or nomes steel our socks but I think that's silly. I'm pretty sure I could catch some stupid elves if they were the ones responsible. Aliens on the other hand are really clever and have technology on their side. It's possible that they're using hyperthreading technology to hyperspace the socks back to their homeworld where their civilization is on the verge of colapse because of a sock shortage. Maybe they're trying to tell us that if we don't check our priorities we could be out of socks someday too.

Wal-Mart:
So a multi-million dollar retail company that happens to sell what? Everything, and everything includes socks. If Wal-Mart could steal some of their merchandise back and resell it the profits would be huge. So it seems logical that they'd pick something small, something that noone is likely to notice when it's gone. Well guess what Wal-Mart? I noticed.

Discussion:
So as you can see, I've been deeply envolved with this matter for most of my life and have developed some strong theories based on hard facts and solid evidence. I just don't know which theory sounds best or what anyone can do about it. What are some of your theories? Who is to blame? What action should mankind take at this point? What the hell am I talking about?

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 11:23 pm

you didn't know that the left sock is made of normal yarn, and the right is made of a special dissolving yarn only good for about 6 or 7 washings.

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 11:43 pm

It's quite obvious that the government is in kahoots with the white goods producers .to make all washing machine spinners SOCK hungry ,Hence to lure people into buying only black socks so you never are with out a pair..
Obviously

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 11:46 pm

Here is what happen to your other 8 pairs... Laughing

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 11:54 pm

Lifechanger wrote:

Here is what happen to your other 8 pairs... Laughing

And the winner is Lifechanger Cheers

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 4:31 am

I clicked other... The washing machine always seems to eat mine or the dog... its a 50/50 tie! x x

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 5:49 am

I always lose my socks.. I guess I never wondered were they went.. but I guess the unicorns are the only answer that actually makes sense... =]

cheers dude!

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 6:13 am

I find many between the tub in the washing machine and the outa shell!!
f**kin took years before I found this out, so I know how you feel!!

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 9:49 am

I've always known that my washing machine eats the socks.

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 10:00 am

it goes onto cocktails that get thrown aout the window and burned... Mr. Green

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 11:00 am

Hmmm... Washing machines eating socks... That might be possible but I'm having trouble thinking of what their motives might be.

Also, diamond vomiting unicorns seems viable. It would certainly explain why diamonds exist.

The plot thickens... Shocked

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 11:51 am

Kuriente wrote:

Hmmm... Washing machines eating socks... That might be possible but I'm having trouble thinking of what their motives might be.

Also, diamond vomiting unicorns seems viable. It would certainly explain why diamonds exist.

The plot thickens... Shocked

I always thought it was monsters living inside the washing machine who ate 'em. But perhaps that's where diamond-vomiting unicorns live? I mean, where else would horny little fuckers like that live anyway?

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:28 pm

The underpants gnomes stole mine.. seems just boxers arnt enough in this time of economic strugle Razz

Be warned.. they could be in your house... Now!

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:51 pm

We are not meant to know. To know is to understand everything.

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:36 pm

{On the side of the road} shoulda been one selection. I don't drive, so I walk alot, and I always seem to see one lonely sock in the gutter. It's a constant in my life. "oh, there's another sock on the side of the road. I wonder where the f*ck it came from?"