Online dating

Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 8:42 pm

People keep telling me to start online dating to find a boyfriend. Not that I'm particularly in need of one, but I've been single long enough now, it would be nice to meet someone new. But 2 of my best friends advocate this to me constantly, they met over the internet and got married, and I meet people all the time who say that they've met this way and couldn't be more in love. I dunno though. I'm sort of scared actually and so I won't do it. The whole thing just seems unnatural to me. Tell me your thoughts or experiences. I want to know what you think about it.

Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 8:46 pm

I voted for option A...

A great advantage of knowing someone online for a few months before you actualy meet them, is that all pre-conceptions of "looks" get broken down before you ever actualy meet someone.

Thatis to say, you get to know people that you would otherwise at first glance say "not for me." Someone saying he only falls for blondes can get to know someone dark haired so well before he ever sees her that he'd actualy not care anymore about something stupid as "hair color"

Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 8:50 pm

I am able to express myself much better on the Internet than in Real Life. I get to nervous in Real Life around women (I don't know why). So I think it is better to meet them online, have video conversations (which I regularly do) just so I know they aren't really some 50 year old guy or something, and then if I meet them in Real Life, then it will be easier for me to talk with them since we have done it so much online.

I voted choice A.

Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 9:00 pm

Well. I do like the thought of getting to know someone before you see them. That way any narrow minded biases you would gather by glancing them over in real life are abolished, and you can (generally speaking) take a better snapshot of their personality, their perks and quirks.

But seeing as most of the modern age is very visually oriented (indeed, it flashes, it's got high sex appeal, it must be good! - I saw this somewhere in this forum recently), it's (online dating) kind of like going to a dimly lit Las Vegas fun house, one of those rooms with all the mirrors, and having the person talk to you; it all sounds good, and if you do get a glimpse (as pictures and videos are often in use in online dating), you still really don't know.

Out of tradition, and the way I was raised, I'm skeptic towards online dating. But then again, I'm skeptical about dating in general. I take interest in people, occasionally romantically, but I don't like this to interfere with my studies, both rhetorical and personal.

Life is too short to contemplate such things, I think. If you want to try it, try it. If you don't like it, quit. Maybe get your friends to show you some pointers, just let them know you're interested and would like to try it out. I don't think it's for me, but I won't look down on those who think it's for them.

Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 9:15 pm

I've given it a go, its pretty good Smile

you meet people who you are interested in, easy way to chat and get to know each other, without the pressure Smile

option A definitely.

Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 9:27 pm

I haven't ever seriously considered it until recently. 3 people in 1 day suggested it to me, for no apparent reason what so ever so I began thinking about it. But, eh, I really base most of what I do in regards to dating on my gut instincts, and I'm not usually wrong either. Reading people is a skill I learned out of necessity as a child. It seems that online dating wouldn't be conducive to my normal mood of operation romantically speaking. I can usually tell when someone is lying to me when I look them in the eye. It's a skill that comes in handy in my profession also. But, I would question the motives of anyone I met online with the expressed intent of falling in love. The men that usually fall for me are in need of a mommy, and I hate that. But the men I fall for are not. In fact something like 10 married men have seriously tried to pick me up in the last year, I stopped counting after that. It just pissed me off, I don't want to rescue anyone but myself. I also have a tendency to intimidate men, for some reason women covered in tattoos are more frightening, even pretty tattoos. But, if you all can convince me, I'll give it a shot...maybe.

Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 9:40 pm

Well, just on 1 point... if you say men get rather intimidated by you because you have alot of tat's... men on the internet won't know what ofcourse, unless you start in with :

"Hey, I'm Cdayzd... I'm covered in tattoo's... how are you ?"

Knowing if people are lairs on the internet isn't all that difficult... "A good lair needs a brilliant memory", I heard that somewhere. Wait a week and ask the same question, a lair will probably say either something completely different, or vary the details...

I know a couple that met each other in Dark Age of Camelot, and after a year they decided to get married... without ever seeing each other. They are still togheter now, five years on. I still chat to them alot and she actualy said once, she'd never have given him the light of day based on his "looks" if they had met in real life to start out with, but after a year they knew each other through and through and she had indeed falling in love with his personality...

Oh come on Cdayzd, do me a favor and start dating online... if no women do how the hell am I ever gonna get hitched Laughing

PS : will you be my mommy (/runs of very very fast :p )

Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 10:01 pm

Erulin wrote:

PS : will you be my mommy (/runs of very very fast :p )

ROFLMAO...Only for you Erulin, only for you. Very Happy

But you know what that means, I won't be able to poke you anymore. Poke

Ok, you're right, tats are not the problem online (I sometimes go by the name "tangent" Wink

). Call me shallow, but I really need to be physically attracted to someone to have my interests sparked. Not that I require some drop dead gorgeous man or anything, but in thinking about it, all the men I've been in long term relationships with have been very attractive. My standards of beauty are definitely lower than most, but as my user name implies, I want to be dayzd, and somehow I just don't know if that can happen online. But I thank everyone for their perspective. Even if it is a waste of time and debate space, thanks. But where are all the cynics at?? you know who you are. I want to see what you think too.

Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 10:22 pm

Shameful confession Embarassed

I tried it two years ago.

I wrote an honest blurb for myself and posted it. I then found out that I had to pay to read any messages and look at the photos of interested girls! With a sigh and a curious smile...I paid up. The girls ranged from around 18 to infinity and beyond. There was a little conflict between written info and photo info Laughing

I decided to return to traditional methods of the club and the cave i.e. real world dating.

I guess that it works well for some people and fair play to 'em. I'm no model but I'm still selective and it's kinder vetting people on sight than arranging to meet and hitting the ejector seat.

I still get 30 or 40 emails a month from the dating site and the others that it sold my information to. They really care about you.
Laughing

cdayzd , these dating sites are free to women (no sexism there then) so why not sign up and just have a look at who and what's on offer? I've been single a couple of months and it can get pretty boring sometimes Exclamation

Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 10:27 pm

cdayzd wrote:

I want to be dayzd, and somehow

...so is this the part where I smack you with a mallet?
...or maybe I should flood the room with gases and pretty lights?

Razz

I really don't see you having much trouble, I've found you to be very likable just from the little I've gotten to know you online. Fact of the matter is though, it's gotten really hard to meet people "out on the street" an amazing number of smart good looking people are floating around on the internet these days. It's not just a bunch of locked in a closet pimply geeks anymore. If your really ready then I say go for it. Sounds to me like you may still want to wait a little longer though. If I was you the biggest question for me would be do I really want to begin this journey or am I just doing it because everyone is telling me to?

...think about it Smile

Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 10:48 pm

Crooked_Ferret wrote:

cdayzd wrote:

I want to be dayzd, and somehow

...so is this the part where I smack you with a mallet?
...or maybe I should flood the room with gases and pretty lights?

Razz

I really don't see you having much trouble, I've found you to be very likable just from the little I've gotten to know you online. Fact of the matter is though, it's gotten really hard to meet people "out on the street" an amazing number of smart good looking people are floating around on the internet these days. It's not just a bunch of locked in a closet pimply geeks anymore. If your really ready then I say go for it. Sounds to me like you may still want to wait a little longer though. If I was you the biggest question for me would be do I really want to begin this journey or am I just doing it because everyone is telling me to?

...think about it Smile

Thanks for the compliment Ferret. Actually I think I had a first date that involved those things you mentioned first...lol, ended badly, I woke up in Jersey and had to take a few rounds of antibiotics, as if Jersey isn't bad enough!!! j/k

You're right, need to think about it more.

Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 1:17 pm

I'd say that you should browse online. All of the isoHunt members are all decent enough people, and you always talk to them online, why not try for someone else? I'd imagine if you talked to them for a few months that it could be beneficial. The internet is also a good place because of the diversity of the people that you can fine there. There are far more people online looking someone, as opposed to a club or the workplace.

Don't rush yourself, and be careful. There are a lot of strange people out there, but I think that you can find at least 1 person you approve of.

And crooked_ferret is right, do this because you want to, not because your friends are telling you to.

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 2:07 pm

Beware of the pics girls take looking down on themselves as they hold the camera. A buddy of mine pointed that out once and it makes girls that are a little bigger look not so. =P

I've tried like 2 online dates in my day and was not impressed. I'd take a friend of a friend over someone I meet online any day.

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 3:01 pm

the Idea is great I cant answere because Ive never used online dating, however the traditional way of finding women or men no longer existst besides finding them at school or at work or maybe a neighbour, I think our society teaches us that we must go out to dance clubs with load shitty music and try and pick up women who are dressing like hookers(sorry), dont get me wrong I get turned on also but I think its a dumb way to meet people. I dont know how Im going to learn anything about somone or have somthing in common with somone who is half drunk and dancing, just my opinion.

Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 3:02 pm

I'm not going to vote in the poll due to the fact that I'm middle road. I don't think it's pathetic to go into online dating. Personally I wouldn't do it myself however, if you can meet a woman/man that you feel in the end was truly who you're meant to be with then all ended well and it worked.

I don't think it was meant for humans to interact through means other then in person up close to define a solid relationship, BUT, I've been wrong plenty of times. So, have at it if it works for you. Just not for me. Rolling Eyes