Where do old socks go?

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 7:08 pm

Try here here Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 5:50 am

thetazzzz wrote:

Try here here Very Happy

A certain delinquent upon these forums, has requested that the chronicles of the sock thief fighting, world saving viper be continued.....so here goes.

As you must have noticed Dezzie has been much less frequent than once he used to be. As I said the last time....the aliens had some serious plans for him....what with all the probing and prodding, the consequences were altogether too dire to be narrated on a PG13 site. Make of that what you will....

We are lucky even to have him around anymore......thanks to a red bee. Or was that The Red Bee....it's kind of fuzzy....dealing with alien technology does that to a man, you know.

Still, at great cost and after much daring, we managed to uncover their new base......those slimy things built a base underneath the pacific bed, right below the trans-pacific fiber optic lines. Which gives them access to all the internet they want at speeds unimaginable. Not only that......this is where they keep all the socks. That makes the base old. Really old.

Ha! I knew I'd find them out. Thought they were being bloody clever, did they...but they tripped one of the connection to the trans-pacific cable.....increasing the load on the trans-Atlantic one momentarily before they could fix it.......that was all it took it discover them.

Our first problem was getting down there......I had to persuade the stubborn fairy folk to do some magic on a bathyscope or two, to ensure they survive at those depths. They hate doing magic for humans....but once they realized it would allow them to hit back at the job stealing Aliens, they were only too eager.

So, me and the leprechauns ( oh yea, they lost all their gold see.....cause the aliens figured out how to keep their gold from disappearing......but the fairies still won't talk to them) we went in two of them bathyscopes....me in one and 10 of them in the other one!

And guess what we found.......all these socks...thousands upon thousands of them....they were being made disappear and reappear and disappear .........just like the damn leprechaun gold!!!!

Now we were just about getting used to this idea of disappearing socks when we got discovered.......barely managed to get out too. So we got no idea what they are upto and they know we know where they are .....getting in again is going to be hell.

I'm going to have to think up something fast cause I got a bad feeling about this.....

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 6:26 am

^

thetazzzz wrote:

Try here here Very Happy

I followed that link above, dug deeper, went Holmes on it and it lead me to something..

This is what children are being taught...

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 6:46 am

sid must have been hiding in my utility room last night then another 3 odds came out!

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 6:51 am

Hmmm might have to pay Sid a little visit.....

Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 1:48 pm

I have all the old socks.

Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 1:58 pm

even the worn out ones? i've got tons of them. seems like a lot are either torn or don't fit me anymore. sometimes i might just donate them. most of the time they're thrown out.

Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 2:41 pm

I give them to the cat...we trade for her furballs....

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:48 am

I just throw them out..or my cat is stealing them, buries them somewhere, God knows where lol

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:34 am

I've got one thing to add, and it is a sock horror all to real to so many of us out there. Imagine that your socks were 20% of the size they are now. Then imagine how many more socks exponentially you would lose than you do now. Yes, that's right... I'm talking about baby socks! At least half will go missing on every wash! Yes, some end up in the pillowcase or duvet cover. But where are the rest? Gnome thieves, or mice looking for sleeping bags, I reckon.

My kid just wears odd socks now, as I just have no logical explanation for where they go, and he doesn't even notice, so why should I bothered. Down with the rigid mind-set of the sock conformists everywhere, I say!

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:03 pm

there's like four of us living in one household, so sometimes our sock drawers would seem emptier while others seem fuller. i guess our maid could be putting some of my socks in different drawers. sometimes they just disappear without warning. i've had to buy new batches of socks to replace them [like a dozen or so pairs!]. sometimes when my bro goes away to Dubai he takes a few pairs and other times they just wear away.

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:27 pm

Nah it's aliens from the warp that are to blame.
Hence my moto..

Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 7:51 am

Three years past I woke to the shadow of a demon... A wraith.. A creature from the void.. Perched upon the foot of my bed while I slumbered my dreams were vanquished by this ancient evil. I gazed unable to utter a sound at this terror from an old world. Its shape, only a silhouette in the blackness. Its stench, that of ancient unwashed laundry. My feet, frozen in fear.. In its clutched claws, my knitted socks.. In an instant the silhouette slipped into the blackness, my socks vanishing with into some unseen hellfire.

I have journeyed the vast expanse of this world in my search of this creature of ancient evil. Across the frozen tundra of the northlands, the vast unimaginable sands of forgotten deserts, through the darkest underworld catacombs of old civilizations and fallen kingdoms, over majestic mountains where no foul doth take flight, into the deepest mouths of the earth where no flame can give light. I have pursued the shadow through all and now I will present the evidence of its existence. The Sockubus is its terrible name.

This ancient cave drawing has been enhanced to show the sock details. It shows one of the many forms of the Sockubus. This serves as undeniable proof of the Sockubus' existence as an ancient times creature.

This middle ages painting depicts an all-too-well-known-scenario where which the Sockubus removes socks from its victims while they sleep. Again, this is factual proof that the sockubus was actively taking socks even in the middle ages.

My pursuit of this ancient demon continues.

Posted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:49 pm

hmmm i had to give this some thought. We all look at our sock drawer every now and again or just pull one sock out of the washing machine and think wtf have i done with the missing socks......... here are some suggestions.

1. ran out of toilet paper and used a sock to wipe bum then throw away.

2. Used condoms are on the floor when your mum knocks on the door, you hide them in a sock and put them in the bin.

3. Your girlfriend sees a sock with a tiny little hole in it and throws it away without telling you even though you would have kept it for another 5 months.

4. You leave your socks in the dryer so long they shrink to the point a smurf could wear them. you see them in your sock drawer and throw it away thinking it is your girlfriends sock that she left here or even worse another girls sock that your girlfriend might see so throw it away. Another idea is that the now little sock belongs to your flatmate. you think he is buying those silly mini socks that girls wear that dont go over the trainer lip. you are rightly concerned thinking your flatmate is getting in touch with his feminine side so you throw away the sock to help him get over such strange behavior....

5. The tooth fairy is pissed off that you have grown up and no longer leave any teeth so it steals a sock to wind you up

6. you used a sock to wipe sperm from your manhood after some solo action. you feel it would be better to throw away the sock rather than wash it. as you wipe the memory of such actions from your mind you forgot that you threw it away.

7. you have some work colleagues and friends coming round but realise you dont have any dusters to clean the dirty mirrors and polish the table etc (as you have never considered buying such things since your girlfriend dumped you and moved out) you use several socks to do the cleaning. at the party you drink a bottle of gold tequila so cant remember anything about the night including throwing away the dirty socks.

8. you have run out of clean socks so you look about the floor and smell each sock to see which one smells the best so you can wear it. unfortunately one of them smells so bad you throw up on it. thinking the sock is now beyond washing you throw it away.

9. you have run out of clean oven cloths / tea towels so you use a sock to pick up a hot baking tray out of the oven. the sock sticks to the baking tray and must be thrown away.

10. when moving house recently i found socks under beds, under sofas, behind and under wardrobes, behind the toilet, under the washing machine and in the attic. these hidden socks could represent a high % of the years missing socks....... threw them away as some were dusty and others had green mold on them......

so there you have it 10 plausible reasons that socks disappear.

Posted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 2:36 pm

Funny as... danger mouse +1 for the laughs. Laughing